Life Face First: Negotiating One Calamity at a Time- The Difference a Change Can Make

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Life is short. Have every color of hair, just not all of them at once.

That’s always been my motto.

Through the years, I’ve colored my ash blonde locks every natural shade of hair and some unnatural.

It started with simple highlights, then, grew bolder.

Mahogany, autumn red, deep auburn, chestnut, sandy brown and platinum blonde with purple highlights are just a few of the shades that have been my color du mois. Colors that were subject to change with my whims and my stylist’s ability to create whatever my latest vision for the top of my head was.

The boldest though was when my stylist and I turned the platinum blonde (by this time the purple highlights were gone) a brown, so deep and rich that it was almost black.

And what’s a new hair color without a new cut? I hadn’t worn bangs since I was a child and we decided it was time I sport them again.

When I returned home from the salon, my husband Brian grinned and declared it was like having a new wife.

Men are so easily entertained.

My propensity to change my hair color like trees change the color of their leaves has never done anyone any damage. However, when I colored it the deep brown, it nearly caused an assault on my husband.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I’m going to say that my hair looked so good (it really did) that a stranger hit on me, Brian got into an argument with him and that’s what nearly caused a fight.

You’re wrong.

It was someone defending my honor against my husband that nearly caused violence.

(Not that my honor requires much defense. I’m fairly boring apart from my hair, but I digress.)

Brian and I were at a local restaurant eating breakfast. We’d finished our meal and were returning to our car when a voice hailed Brian.

We turned to see my cousin Brett striding toward us with purpose.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he shouted at Brian.

We were dumbfounded. Brett is usually a friendly, happy-go-lucky guy. We’d never seen him angry.

“Why are you out with another woman?” Brett demanded.

“Brett?” I said, confused.

He stared at me and blinked. After a moment, he realized that the brunette he thought my husband was cheating with was, in fact, me.

Apparently, when Brian said my change in hair was like having a new wife, he wasn’t the only person who thought I was someone else.

We had a good laugh and I was reminded of how great my family is. They won’t tolerate a cheating spouse!

Life is short. Have every color hair. Just tell your family if you’re changing it – for your husband’s safety!

Nora Blithe

Nora Blithe is the author of the syndicated humor column “Life Face First.” Read her blog online at doorinface.com or contact her at norablithe@gmail.com.